


Say, Aren't You Kind Of Glad We Did?

by fiddleyoumust



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: F/M, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-03
Updated: 2011-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-14 08:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/147573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiddleyoumust/pseuds/fiddleyoumust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Always a girl!Spencer and Jon dance around their epic crushes on one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say, Aren't You Kind Of Glad We Did?

Spencer is a hot girl drummer in a hot band who tours with a bunch of other hot bands. She lives on the road, and sometimes wears the same pair of underwear two days in a row, and goes a few days without a shower, and she definitely doesn't get to shave her legs or pluck her eyebrows as often as she'd like. But whatever, she grew up attached at the hip with Ryan Ross, and anyone whose best friend is a boy who wears eyeliner and pink scarves needs to learn how to be tough pretty fucking fast. Spencer is like a Ford truck.

Spencer's life isn't anything like she imagined it would be but it's still somehow pretty close to perfect. Right now she's coming down from one of the best sets of her life, and she's dancing close to Ryan, and Jon is across the room giving her that look that makes her heart pick up in her chest and it's silly, because he does it all the time and nothing ever happens. Still, she can't help but think, _maybe tonight_.

Ryan eventually gets distracted by some pretty thing with blond hair, and Spencer knows that Ryan loves her, but Ryan also _had_ her back when they were both too stupid to know that loving someone doesn't necessarily mean fucking them is a good idea. They've always been best friends and Spencer thanks God every day that sex didn't change that.

So, Ryan goes off with blond girl number whatever and Spencer doesn't hold it against him because Brendon is there suddenly handing her another drink, and Jon is still across the room watching her dance and getting that fuzzy look in his eye like he's had a few to many.

Spencer's definitely had a few to many too, and when Gabe hands her a few more, she drinks them. She's not sure how much time passes but the next time she looks up, Jon is gone, and Spencer feels that now familiar mix of disappointment and disgust settle in her belly. Then, Gabe is there again, picking her up by her arms, and half dragging her back to Cobra's bus, and really? When she wakes up from all this tomorrow, she figures she can blame all the fucking she's about to get up to with Gabe solely on Jon's really strong shoulders.

Spencer stumbles out of the back lounge still drunk and half dressed an hour later to find Victoria sitting in the front of the bus reading a book. Vicky quirks an eyebrow at her and asks, "You okay?"

Spencer remembers vaguely that she came twice and her blood is still buzzing under her skin, but she can already tell that she's going to be really familiar with the toilet in her bus in a few hours and she pales just thinking about it. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sick," Spencer says helpfully.

Victoria nods and gets up and walks into the kitchenette to get a glass of water and wet a paper towel. She makes Spencer drink half the glass and then wipes Spencer's brow and neck with the wet paper towel. "Gabe didn't..." Victoria trails off lamely and looks at Spencer pointedly.

"Nothing happened that I didn't want to happen," Spencer says slowly which isn't exactly true because sleeping with Gabe really isn't ever a good idea, but it's also not the first time Spencer's made that particular mistake, and unless Jon wakes up and smells the unrequited love sometime soon, it probably won't be the last. "I really need to get back to my bus at some point," Spencer says. She tries to cover the fact that her tongue gets stuck on the end of "bus".

Victoria, to her credit, does her best not to laugh and Spencer shows her appreciation by letting Vicky walk her back to her bus and _not_ puking on her when she has to stop half way there to wretch on the pavement.

Spencer prays to every god she can think of for the boys to be asleep, and then decides that gods obviously hate drunk, girl drummers, because Jon is sitting on the couch watching a stupid Jim Carrey movie, and oh god, Spencer's life is so unfair.

"Hi," Spencer says and smiles beatifically, her hand going to one hip while she uses the other one to hold herself up in the doorway.

"You are so wasted," Jon says amusedly and then he gets up and shoulders under Spencer's arm, supporting her as he drags her back toward her bunk. Jon smells really good which is weird because Spencer doesn't remember him showering after the show tonight, and Spencer goes out of her way to notice when Jon gets naked as often as possible.

"You smell nice," Spencer says and Jon stiffens for a moment before he laughs softly.

"Let's get you to bed, pretty girl," Jon whispers.

~~~

Spencer wakes up dead the next morning. She still manages to crawl to the bathroom, only to find the door locked. Her arms feel like useless lead pipes, so she ends up just leaning against the door and banging her head lightly until Ryan walks by and crouches down next to her.

"You okay?" he asks putting his hand to her forehead and Spencer moans and clutches at her stomach. "Spencer needs the bathroom, Brendon," he shouts through the door and Spencer winces, because _ouch_ , Ryan's voice is really fucking loud.

Brendon opens the door and looks at Spencer with his head tilted and then says, "I'll get you coffee and aspirin."

Spencer smiles and then crawls toward the toilet and says, "If you weren't gay, I would suck your dick right now." Then, she throws up.

Spencer's head goes from mildly achy to pain so intense she actually wishes she were dead. Her stomach keeps rebelling even though she's thrown up everything there is to throw up. She's pretty sure she's lost stomach lining.

The fetal position was created for hangovers, so Spencer takes the shape on the couch, and pouts, moans, and begs until Brendon becomes her own personal butler, fetching 7-Up and saltine crackers.

"Ryan thinks you're really sick," Brendon says quietly. "He's talking about canceling the show tonight. He went to talk to Jon."

Spencer scrunches her face up and then shrieks and grabs her head when the bus door slams open and she's about to let loose on Jon, who is standing in the doorway, until Spencer notices how his face is pinched tight. He looks more angry than Spencer has ever seen him.

"Get the fuck up," he says and his voice has enough venom in it to drop a person twice Zack's size.

Brendon freezes next to Spencer, a saltine cracker halfway to his mouth, and actually makes a little squeaking noise like a mouse.

"I don't feel good," Spencer says carefully and clutches her stomach pathetically hoping that will convey to Jon the true depth of her misery at the moment.

Jon walks calmly across the room and says deathly quiet, "That's what happens when you lick large amounts of tequila off Gabe's neck. Now get up and get in the shower. We have a show."

Spencer feels herself flush because she doesn't exactly remember doing that, and it pisses her off that she let herself get that out of control. Thankfully, Jon acting high and mighty and pretending like he's never over indulged is enough to over shadow her own embarrassment and she decides to knock him down a peg by saying, "That's not the only place I licked last night."

Spencer smiles bitchily until she sees something snap in Jon's eyes and Brendon must see it too because he jumps off the couch and shouts, "I'm getting Ryan," at the exact same moment that Jon bodily lifts Spencer off the couch and carries her toward the bathroom.

"I don't feel good!" Spencer yells and maybe she's not a physical match against Jon, but she's a fucking drummer and she's got some pretty fucking fierce guns. She decides to use them to land some pretty good blows to Jon's back since he's got her slung over his shoulder like she's some piece of musical equipment.

"I don't care," Jon says dumping her into the tiny shower and flipping the water on. The cold spray hits Spencer hard and she yelps loudly. "Wash you hair. You smell like a bar."

"I hate you," Spencer spits and she drags her shirt off and throws the wet mess at Jon's chest just to be a bitch. When she looks up at him through her wet hair he's staring at her with obvious hurt in his eyes and Spencer doesn't feel nearly as satisfied as she thought she would. Jon finally just sighs and says, "Sound check in two hours," before he walks out of the bathroom and closes the door.

~~~

Brendon comes in thirty minutes later with a towel, a t-shirt, and a pair of someone's sweat pants. Spencer thinks maybe they're Ryan's since they look long enough to fit Spencer's long legs. Spencer sticks her arm out from behind the shower curtain and Brendon puts the towel in her hand.

When she opens the curtain a second later Brendon is sitting on the toilet seat with his eyes wide. "Jon wouldn't let Ryan cancel the show and there was a lot of yelling and then Jon stormed off," Brendon says.

Spencer sighs and pats Brendon's head while she tries to find a comb or brush to run through the tangle of hair on her head. "Everything will be fine after the show tonight. I shouldn't have let Ryan even suggest canceling. That was shitty of me," Spencer says to her own reflection in the mirror.

Brendon nods and says, "So..." before he starts twisting his fingers into the fabric of his hoodie nervously.

"So, what?" Spencer asks looking away from the mirror and noticing Brendon's pink cheeks for the first time.

"I was kind of wondering if... Well, I mean Ryan and now Jon," Brendon trips over his words and then flaps his hands lamely toward Spencer like that will help explain what the fuck he's trying to say.

"Ryan and Jon what? What, Brendon? Use your grown up words," Spencer snaps because seriously, does Brendon not understand _hangover_.

"Can I see you naked?" Brendon blurts out and that was so not what Spencer was expecting that she actually takes a step back, which is pretty fucking hard to do in the tiny bathroom .

"Excuse me?" Spencer asks raising her eyebrow in the best Scarlett O'Hara impression she can muster.

"Well, you and Ryan used to, you know," Brendon says making little humping motions with his hands. "And Jon maybe mentioned that you threw your wet shirt at him so I know he saw... the girls, or whatever and now I feel left out." Brendon pouts really beautifully and blinks his ridiculously girly eyelashes at Spencer.

"You're gay, Brendon," Spencer says. She really feels like she shouldn't have to point these things out to Brendon, but sometimes he needs guidance.

"You're being exclusionary, Spencer Smith. We're a band. I should get to see too," Brendon says sensibly.

Spencer sighs and rolls her eyes and then takes another step back and opens her towel. She counts to three Mississippi and then closes it and looks at Brendon to gage his reaction.

Brendon blinks a couple times and then says, "Yep, still gay."

Spencer hits him in the head.

~~~

Spencer plays as hard as she can. It's not a perfect show, but she sweats most of the poison out of her body through her pores and she feels better afterward. She feels pretty great in fact, until Jon brushes past her after the show without a word.

Spencer watches him go and then turns to head in the direction of Cobra's bus when Ryan clamps down on her arm hard and hisses, "Fix it, Spencer. No breaking my band."

Spencer glares and wrenches her arm free and then goes to see if Victoria will let her steal a cigarette.

Spencer finds Vicky hiding from fangirls in a hallway backstage. "You're not supposed to smoke inside," Spencer says leaning against the wall next to her.

"There are screaming fourteen year olds out there," Victoria says with a shudder.

Spencer laughs and then bumps her shoulder against Victoria's in thanks when Vicky hands her a cigarette from her pack. "So, sorry about last night," Spencer says quietly after she takes her first drag.

Vicky laughs but there's no humor in it. "It's really not me you should be apologizing to," Vicky says.

Spencer gives her a confused look. "I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be apologizing to Gabe. I mean, I don't exactly remember _everything_ that happened, but I'm positive a good time was had by all."

Vicky stares for a few seconds until Spencer actually has to look away, embarrassed. "Spencer," Vicky says quietly. "It's been really great being on tour with another girl the last few weeks, but god. Sometimes you're a total idiot."

"What?" Spencer asks, legitimately confused.

Victoria sighs and says, "Have you seen Gabe's face tonight?"

Spencer wrinkles her brow and thinks and yeah, no. She had laid in bed hoping that death would take her before tonight's show so she'd missed Cobra's set. Then Jon had been all prickish after the show and Spencer had needed a cigarette. "No," Spencer says. "I haven't seen him."

"Hmm," Vicky says. "Maybe you should go take a look at him and then go talk to Jon."

Spencer perks up at that. "Since when does Jon have anything to do with it?"

"Oh honey," Victoria says, patting Spencer's arm. Spencer tenses up, but there's nothing condescending in Vicky's tone. She just looks a strange mixture of amused and concerned and then she turns and walks out the side door into a throng of screaming girls.

~~~

So, Gabe has a black eye. "You have a black eye," Spencer says.

Gabe looks at her through his good eye, the other one swollen and bruised, purple with just a sliver of red around the edge. "It makes me look rakish, right?"

Spencer smiles despite herself and reaches out to touch along the edge of Gabe's eye. "Ouch," Spencer says feelingly.

Gabe casts his eyes over Spencer's shoulder and says, "So you should have maybe told me you and Jon were... you know."

Spencer takes a step back and looks at Gabe, her eyes widening as things start to click and fall in place. "Jon hit you?" Spencer says incredulously.

"I mean," Gabe says. "I'm not saying I wouldn't have still gone there last night, because I'm honestly not that great a guy, but I would have at least been prepared for your boyfriend's fist."

Spencer sees red and her fists clench involuntarily. "Oh, he better be getting ready for mine," Spencer snarls. "And he's not my fucking boyfriend."

~~~

Spencer finds Jon in the back lounge of the bus leaning over the DVD player. He straightens up when Spencer walks through the door, his lips thinning and his eyes going blank and unreadable. Spencer walks straight up to him, rears back and punches him in the face.

Jon takes a startled step back, both his hands flying up to his face to curve protectively around his eye and cheek where Spencer's fist connected. "Ow, you crazy bitch. What the hell?"

"The bitch is maybe right, but I'm not crazy," Spencer says feeling much calmer. It's like punching Jon in the eye completely dispelled all her rage. "And you know, what the hell? Stop punching my sex partners."

Jon grimaces and looks away angrily, hand still covering his eye. He mumbles something under his breath harshly, but Spencer can't make it out.

"What?" Spencer says shortly. "I didn't catch that."

"I said... never mind," Jon says. "It was shitty anyway and I don't want you to hit me again."

Spencer narrows her eyes and then says, "So, Gabe? I think you really owe him an apology."

"Fuck that," Jon says. "You were wasted and he took advantage." Jon's face looks mutinous and he finally drops his hand from his face to cross his arms across his chest like he's a stubborn five year old.

It's sort of annoying and adorable all at the same time and Spencer's heart and stomach both turn against her like the little traitors they are, her stomach doing cartwheels, while her heart thumps erratically in her chest.

"Jon," she says softly, taking a few steps forward until she's close enough to reach out and lay her fingers gently against Jon's cheek. She can already feel the swelling under Jon's skin and it gives her a moment of guilt before she reminds herself that Jon had it coming.

Jon looks at her and he has these stupid Bambi eyes, all shiny and brown and pleading, just like the stupid cartoon deer. Spencer snaps her eyes away from them and focuses on Jon's mouth instead and that so does not help at all. Jon bites his bottom lip like he knows exactly what Spencer's thinking, but when she looks back up at his eyes, they look the same.

"What," Jon asks quietly, almost whispering.

Spencer sighs and takes another step so that their chests are maybe two inches apart and that's if Spencer's being generous. Spencer tilts her chin down a little because Jon is barefoot and Spencer has her boots on and that makes her a little bit taller than Jon. "If you want me to stop sleeping with Gabe, all you had to do was say so."

Spencer leans in and then groans frustrated when Jon puts his hands on her arms and holds her back. "Why?" Jon asks.

"Huh?" Spencer says because seriously? Jon's mouth is _right there_ and Spencer would really like to kiss it now.

"Why do I have to say so?" Jon clarifies. "I mean, obviously you want to kiss me pretty badly right now and that just makes me wonder why I have to _ask_ you not to sleep with other guys."

Spencer blinks and then opens her mouth and then closes it and then says, "Huh," again except this time she's not asking a question.

"Spencer," Jon says, and Spencer looks at him again, her breath caught in her throat. "Don't sleep with other guys."

"Okay," Spencer says stupidly and then Jon is kissing her.

Jon wraps one of his hands around the back of Spencer's neck and uses the other one to twist through Spencer's hair. He pulls a little, angling Spencer's head the way he wants it to go, and Spencer lets him, opening up her mouth for Jon's tongue.

The kiss is so good that Spencer's toes actually curl in her boots and she puts one hand along Jon's neck so she can feel the steady, quick rhythm of Jon's pulse. She cups Jon's cheek with her other hand and then groan's into Jon's mouth when he nips lightly at her bottom lip.

Jon groans back and it takes Spencer a second to realize it's a pained groan. She breaks the kiss and it's only then that she realizes she's pressing her thumb pretty forcefully into Jon's bruised cheek. "Sorry, sorry," she mumbles against Jon's lips, lifting her hand away from the bruise and replacing it with a feather light pass of her lips.

Jon shudders and kisses Spencer's chin and cheek before he presses his mouth against hers again. "It's okay," he says when they break apart again. "I probably deserved it."

Spencer grins and says, "Oh, you definitely deserved it."

Jon's pout is pretty fucking adorable and Spencer's heart does that thing again where she has no control over it. Spencer is so, so, so screwed if Jon ever finds out how crazy she actually is over him. "Why do you hate me, Spencer Smith?" Jon asks forlornly.

Spencer smiles and pushes Jon backwards until he's sitting on the couch and then proceeds to climb him until she's straddling his lap. "I don't hate you," Spencer says wiggling a little to get more comfortable. Jon's breath catches in the back of his throat and Spencer smiles and then wiggles again just for fun.

"You're cruel," Jon says, but he's smiling now too. He leans up and nips lightly at Spencer's mouth, settling his hands on her hips.

"Whatever," Spencer says flippantly. "You totally love me." Spencer freezes, her whole body catching up with her mouth and unanimously deciding to be mortified all at once.

Jon's breath stutters out across Spencer's cheek and Spencer closes her eyes and prays that when she opens them again Jon will have miraculously disappeared. God still hates her apparently because Jon is still there, wide eyed and perfect underneath her when she opens her eyes.

"Spencer," Jon says and it's so careful, so full of awe that Spencer actually swallows and then forgets how to breath until Jon continues, "Yeah, I totally do."

So, maybe, Spencer thinks, God doesn't hate little girl drummers after all. Maybe, God's just a busy guy, or, maybe he saves miracles for the really good stuff, like Jon Walker confessing his love in the back lounge of their tour bus. Spencer doesn't have all the answers to the bigger questions in life, but thankfully, Jon makes some of them easy.

"Can I kiss you again, now?" Jon asks, fingers digging into the skin of Spencer's hips.

Spencer smiles and says, "Yes."


End file.
